Do You Feel Tired and Drained from Work? Perhaps it is Because You are over Reacting Emotionally
Many people feel tired and drained at work or around other people. It is common to feel tired and drained around others. As a counselor and spiritual caregiver, I know that it is very important to learn how to work and be around others without feeling drained. This article is a description of this issue, from a pastoral counselor's perspective, as well as an introduction to the solution.
I am aware that there may be physical environmental factors that contribute to feeling drained--such as electrosmog from electrical and electronic equipment (such as computers). Some people say there may even be the effect of cell phones, cordless phones or Wifi nearby. Other people warn of the possibility of chemicals in the air coming from furniture, carpets, cleaning chemicals or poorly filtered air.
The reader may wish to research these possibilities and perhaps consult with an environmental professional or a medical practitioner. Since I am a counselor I cannot address these issues other than mention them in passing as something to find out more about. Of course, there is just plain fatigue--working too hard or trying to do too much. If this describes you, then cut back a little so that your body can rest. Finally there may be physical health issues that should be checked out by your doctor or medical practitioner.
Like I said, I cannot comment on any of the above areas other then to mention them and encourage you to get help from the appropriate professional.
But what I can talk about are emotional and spiritual factors involved. I have been lecturing and writing for over 20 years about the psycho-spiritual causes of stress.
From an emotional and spiritual perspective, the reason why we feel tired and drained around people is because, frankly, many people ARE tiring and draining.
They drain us because they tempt us to react, to resent, and to respond to them. They nag, tease, or pressure us until we react. Then we resent their having gotten to us. Our resentment makes us feel guilty, and so we bend over backwards to be nice to them (to placate guilt). Soon the whole cycle starts again--we give our all, only to find they are taking advantage. We resent them (or ourselves) for this--and this leads to the vicious cycle repeating itself over and over.
Another type of temptation is that people are the source of is tension. There is the tension of unfinished business, the tension of injustice, and the tension of confusion. Other people may be the source of the temptation, but it is our own resentment that hurts us most of all. Instead of clearing the air and being outspoken (with calmness and patience) we become angry and clam up. We suppress our hostility and say nothing. So we end up tense around such people.
Often the person is someone near to you--a family member or a workmate. So tense and repressed and suppressed do we become that we vent our suppressed anger on someone else (like our kids) or we turn to drugs or alcohol to artificially calm down. But these legal or illegal drugs or alcohol drain us too! They have the power to drain us of energy and money (since they are expensive) because they are temptations themselves. We are using them for an artificial peace instead of finding peace with God and learning to be more forgiving.
Therefore, other people tempt us to react and give up energy. Once we become conditioned to react, even innocent people drain us too. People or situations that make us resentful and angry cause us to suppress hostility and become tense. The tension cries out for relief through drugs, alcohol, sex or violence.
Can you see, in very basic terms, that even just reacting to others, getting upset by them, and then having secret resentment towards them cause tension, because we feel uneasy about ourselves and off balance?
If you are reacting (and having others push your buttons) or resenting, you are not living gracefully and are not inwardly impelled. You sense this at some unplumbed level of your being and it makes you feel anxious and uneasy. Tense, in other words.
Tension cries out for relief. And whatever you use to relieve the tension (even work or exercise!), drains you.
Mark this well: work will not drain you if it is natural, not wrong, and in accord with your nature. It becomes easy and an outflow of your creative self--like the way little kids play. If it is done resentfully or your motive or motivation is wrong, or the work itself is dishonest, it will drain you. Likewise exercise.
Honest and decent work--an honest day's pay for an honest day's work--will not drain you (unless you resent it). A day of decent work leaves you naturally tired at the end of the day and ready to enjoy a good night's sleep to then wake up refreshed and renewed in the morning.
Dishonest work, work ambitiously or resentfully will drain you. Why? Because the work has become a temptation and it has the power to drain you. Phony and ambitious environments drain. So does unethical work or work where you do not earn your living.
One more thing, if your work is right but you are still feeling tense and drained, it is most likely because either you are trying too hard (relax!), or you are resentful about something. Careful not to resent your work. Most of us have had jobs that were not very fulfilling, but if it is decent work and pays the bills, be grateful for it and don't resent it. Things are always changing--one day you may have a better job. In the meanwhile, there is nothing wrong with working with your hands
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