An Open Letter to All Pastors and Christian Counselors from Dr. Roland Trujillo PhD
Today people have mental health issues as never before; yet paradoxically never has public and private discourse about our individual and collective issues been so impoverished.
I believe it is high time to dust off some traditional terms from our religious, philosophical, and theological lexicon and begin using them again. Meaningful terms such as grieving, mourning, sin, guilt, despair, acedia and unforgiveness will clarify and rehumanize our discourse. Life affirming and hope giving terms such as forgiveness, mercy, salvation, revival, restoration, and the peace of God will enrich and re-energize our discourse. I also think that the use of such terms will reframe the issues in a healthy and humane way.
Even the most adamant behaviorist or staunch bio medical model proponent will admit that a person who has just lost a dear loved one is most likely not suffering from a chemical imbalance, but is grieving the recent loss of that loved one. Furthermore, most people will also agree that time and the catharsis of mourning the loss will usually gradually restore the person to be able to move on with their life. Those of us who are spiritual care givers will also talk about her experience in terms of mourning, acceptance, faith, and forgiveness.
Spiritual and philosophical terms like faith, hope, and forgiveness are more than mere terms. They are words that point to a spiritual and metaphysical realm which the human being has access to, and from which real meaning and answers may be derived. Let me now give a specific example. Let's take, for instance, the common diagnosis of depression.
Many people, and a growing percentage of the population, have been diagnosed with depression. The person with a depression diagnosis will often present himself or herself at various venues, including informal ones, and say "I have been diagnosed with depression." At this point, meaningful dialogue is virtually extinguished. It's like the ubiquitous bumper sticker "I support our troops." One dare not dialogue any further because anything said might be construed as not supporting the troops.
Similarly, when someone says "I have been diagnosed with depression," it elicits both a shallow sympathetic response and caution. I would like to suggest that the term stifles productive dialogue. It has an air of finality about it. More and more, it is beginning to connote chronicity and even disability.
Please don't misunderstand me. As a board certified counselor, I am well versed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, and my continuing education courses keep me up to date on the latest treatment modalities and what is being prescribed. I am not blaming my colleagues in the mental health or medical fields. They, like myself, are caring people who are doing the best they can.
When clients or patients present themselves and say "I'm depressed," the professional cannot just turn them away. A term has to be used and recorded which is objective and will serve as a coin of exchange with other health care providers. A standardized diagnostic term is also useful for billing and insurance purposes. I'm not blaming anyone.
What I am saying is that although a diagnostic term is very useful for application in the helping professional's office, that term is not beneficial when it makes its way into the vernacular and becomes a catch all term that restricts rather than enriches public discourse. Furthermore I am concerned that the individual with the diagnosis may use it in a way the physician or counselor had not intended. Life does not begin and end at the moment of diagnosis.
Life is not a series of snapshots but is a holistic continuum which is composed of moments well or badly met, resulting in growth and unfoldment. The diagnosis, as useful as it may be in the framework of assessment, diagnosis and treatment, is not so useful when concerned family, citizens and spiritual leaders get hung up with it and fail to contribute their understanding in more enriching enabling terms.
One lady in her mid 40's said "I'm clumsy." But it was obvious that she was not at all clumsy. When she was 6 years old, she was told over and over again by her mom that she was clumsy. The label stuck and had a pejorative effect on her performance and life experience decades later.
It would be unfortunate if a diagnosis resulted in the same deleterious finality as the "clumsy" label did to the lady in our example. That is why our philosophers, our spiritual caregivers and thoughtful people everywhere must be ready to make the case for growth and for change using the vocabulary of the theatre, the arts, literature, poetry and Scripture to describe and affirm the value and meaning in every human suffering and yearning, and to cherish every heartbeat, smile and tear.
We must rehumanize, respiritualize and depathologize the terms we use to describe our fellow human beings. We must reaffirm the hope of redemption and renewal.
It is the artist, the pastor, and the poet who speak about life in human and humanizing terms that remind us of our solidarity with others and awaken us to our own humanity. I believe this is what Joseph Conrad had in mind in his famous description of the work of the literary artist.
"Confronted by the same enigmatical spectacle the artist descends within himself, and, . . . . if he be deserving and fortunate, he finds the terms of his appeal. . . . . He speaks to our capacity for delight and wonder,
to the sense of mystery surrounding our lives; to our sense of pity, and beauty, and pain; to the latent feeling of fellowship with all creation--and to the subtle but invincible conviction of solidarity that knits together the loneliness of innumerable hearts, to the solidarity in dreams, in joy, in sorrow, in aspirations, in illusions, in hope, in fear, which binds men to each other, which binds together all humanity--the dead to the living and the living to the unborn."
And so it is with the workman of art. Art is long and life is short, and success is very far off. And thus, doubtful of strength to travel so far, we talk a little about the aim--the aim of art, which, like life
itself, is inspiring, difficult--obscured by mists; it is not in the clear logic of a triumphant conclusion; it is not in the unveiling of one of those heartless secrets which are called the Laws of Nature. It is not less great, but only more difficult.
To arrest, for the space of a breath, the hands busy about the work of the earth, and compel men entranced by the sight of distant goals to glance for a moment at the surrounding vision of form and colour, of
sunshine and shadows; to make them pause for a look, for a sigh, for a smile--such is the aim, difficult and evanescent, and reserved only for a very few to achieve. But sometimes, by the deserving and the fortunate,
even that task is accomplished. And when it is accomplished--behold!--all the truth of life is there: a moment of vision, a sigh, a smile--and the return to an eternal rest." (see footnote)
If the humble artist can aspire to awaken us if only for a moment to higher and deeper aspects of life, how much more might the pastor, spiritual care giver, Christian counselor or teacher aspire to awaken us and remind us of our spiritual roots.
Remember, dear pastor and counselor, that it is all too human for us to get lost in some trivial thing we have made too important, some resentment, or some worry. When we get immersed in our worry, resentment, or excitement, it is your job to gently but firmly awaken those (who are willing) to love and understanding. You must not allow temporary set backs to discourage you nor must you ever grow weary of the high calling of calling others.
Nor must you allow a value neutral, amoral public or professional discourse to intimidate you or lull you into setting aside religious and spiritual terminology. To accomplish the noble task of patiently reminding others of their own and other's humanity, we must use the right words.
There must not be a disconnect between the words and the message.
Let's return to the example I gave of the diagnostic term "depression" and look at just a few of the many terms which might be substituted which are just as valid, more descriptive, and more fruitful.
For example, a person might say "I'm depressed." But what he is really saying is "I'm discouraged." Just about anyone might be discouraged after unsuccessfully looking for a job for 8 months. But when that person finds the job, the discouragement is over.
Another person might say "I'm depressed." But what he really means is "I'm sad. My puppy just died." With the passage of time and new things to do, the bright smile returns.
One person said "I'm depressed," but it turns out that she is 22 years old and, as is typical of someone her age, she is simply not sure what to do with her life. We've all been there. Before long, one thing leads to another, and the temporary doldrums of transition transform into new movement and growth toward worthwhile goals.
One of my clients said "I'm depressed." When I asked why, he said "I just found out that my wife has been cheating on me." Angry, shocked, upset, and hurt are words that come to mind, not "depressed."
A lady might say she is depressed, but she might also say that she feels lonely, unloved, or empty. A man might say he is depressed, but he is in the transition from 20's to 30's. When he was in his twenties, everything was still possible, even becoming a "professional athlete." Now in his thirties he must graciously leave behind the things of youth and wait for new goals and purposes to unfold.
Some of what is called depression is the feeling of not knowing what to do during a transition period. When the last child leaves for college, when your fiance quits you, when a young mom says goodbye to the office and hello to diapers--these are each one of life's many transition periods.
We need a discourse that talks about transition, not finality, and about possibilities not determinism. As individuals we need dads, moms, mentors, grandparents, and pastors who talk about transitions in human, philosophical and positive ways. As a society we need clergy, philosophers, theologians, and counselors who speak converse about transitions with words that convey hope, love and understanding.
It used to be that instead of focusing on self, a person might say "life is a bummer, I'm on a bad trip, my job is the pits, or my social life is a zero." What is healthy about such ways of describing negative situations is that the focus is on something wrong out there--something that can easily be changed. Being depressed is often a word for feelings of loss of control and powerlessness. When a person says "I'm disabled because of my depression diagnosis, the focus on on self and powerlessness. But if a person says I'm unemployed, but I'm going back to school, there is hope for change for the better.
A closer analysis shows that even the ability to look philosophically at a negative contingency is itself active and humanizing (only humans can be philosophical). In essence, it is saying: "I see something negative and I choose to look at it with a sense of humor and not let it degrade me. Like someone said, "when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade." Hope springs eternal when the issue is framed in a way that makes the problem something external that can be fixed.
Now I wish to address myself to spiritual care givers, philosophers, theologians, and Christian counselors. It is time for you to enter the public discourse and begin to make the case for a more human and a deeper take on mental health diagnoses.
Victor Frankel said that one of human beings' deepest needs is for meaning. He wrote a famous book called Man's Search for Meaning based on his experiences in a German concentration camp in World War II. We are all familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, with creature comforts at the bottom and is self actualization needs at the top. Frankel takes it one more step. Frankel found that even more fundamental than any of the other needs is the need from meaning. It is for this reason, for example, that he (Frankel) found some prisoners helping each other when none of their basic needs were met. Solidarity, fraternal love, honor, charity, even survival--these gave meaning to existence even when everything else was lacking.
I am somewhat of a student of the writings of people have been in ultimate situations (such as torture, extreme privation, or solitary confinement in a political prison). Their writings reveal that when they had no food, shelter, or warmth--many still cared for each other. And even more remarkable, thought not having the basic necessities of life, they communicated with each other about music, art, poetry, mathematics, philosophy and religion. Vice Admiral James Stockdale who endured years of torture and solitary confinement in a political prison said in his memoirs that liberal arts courses he had had in his undergraduate days came in handy in prison camp. So I might add do memorized hymns, childhood prayers, and Bible verses.
If people's greatest need is for meaning, (and I think it is) with I believe, the ultimate unifying, humanizing meaning being God, then it is possible that the reason for some depressions is doubt and a loss of hope.
A young lady whose parents are divorcing is tempted to doubt goodness and love-- which is what the happy union of her parents had represented to her. Later when her parents changed their minds and decided to stay together, her depression lifted. To her, her parents remaining married carried the meaning that all's well with the world.
A person who has had a lot of bad breaks is being tempted to doubt God's providence and the existence of an orderly fair universe which mean that life can be trusted. Upon dropping his resentment and taking a more philosophical view of life, he is re-energized to try some new things and disabused of the doubt and pessimism which had blocked action and dampened his spirits. A renewed belief in providence encourages purposeful goal directed activity.
Many people today, especially young people, have been exposed to a chaotic amoral confusing set of messages. Their faith and trust in ultimate meaning has been severely tested. A child advocate once said that young people today ask two questions: "Do I have a future? Does anyone care?" Can you see how the underpinnings of meaning, of trust in the eternal verities, of trust in God and our fellow humans have been undercut somehow for such young people?
It comes to pass that many people today are searching for meaning and purpose. When their search is underway and the answers have not yet been found, at times the person grows weary and discouraged, even to the verge of despair. What will vouchsafe their finding renewed hope to keep searching? It is the meaning found in human care and human kindness.
On the way to finding God, the temporary shelter from the storm is human kindness. How many people have said that they were on the verge of despair when a coach took an interest in them, a mentor spent some time with them, a tutor taught them to read, or a teacher gave them some extra help. Human kindness stands in for God until we find Him. Human caring is the stopgap. It means someone cares and it means that there is such a thing as good.
I will say one more thing about depression (which is just one diagnostic term I could use as an example--there are many others). We said that human care and human kindness are helpful to people who are dealing with discouragement or looking for answers to the meaning of existence. Many a person who has experienced despondency and hopelessness will tell you that it took just one person--an aunt, a teacher, even a stranger--who cared enough to acknowledge and help or even just listen--that began for them the slow climb to recovery.
If human care and kindness are good for the recipient, they are also good for the giver. Everyone who has ever helped another person always says that doing something for others was just as beneficial for the helper as the one helped.
By doing good, the helper is benefited in the process. If this is true, then anything that would block the flow of love or kindness would be harmful to the human being. One might speculate that a type of "depression" might result from a blockage of expressing love and caring. Such a person might somehow be blocked from loving and caring for others and also from loving and caring for himself. This phenomenon and its repair is spoken about extensively by Christ and the writers of the Epistles.
Here is where our spiritual care givers, philosophers and theologians can step up and contribute to the kind of dialogue that could alert such people to why their love is blocked. Our spiritual leaders and philosophers have long known about forgiveness, humility, and letting go of resentment and hatred as ways of becoming fully human. They must not stop saying it.
Because people have not heard it said, or because it has not been said, many people are simply unaware that there could be a connection between their despondency and unforgiveness. Unforgiveness blocks the flow of love. Our spiritual leaders must keep reminding us of this truth.
By talking about such things, even the philosopher, the professor, or the compassionate bystander can raise people's awareness. Once aware of the possible connection, a person might simply see the need to let go of unforgiveness to become unblocked. People need to hear it. Someone needs to say it, and who is better suited and who has a better set of applicable terms and phrases than the spiritual care giver?
In summation, we as friends and family must get beyond the buzz words and talk to people in a human way about deep values. Clergy, chaplains, care givers, philosophers, and Christian counselors must keep talking about meaning, love, compassion, caring, forgiveness, hope and faith.
We must point to, talk about, and affirm the life giving and restorative benefits of God's ways of dealing with issues. But first we must not neglect to use religious terms to describe the human predicaments and suffering our clients, parishioners, and students find themselves in.
A famous sales trainer once said that if you are selling Fords, you shouldn't be driving Chevys. You should be driving Fords. If we are Christians we should be talking like Christians, not abandoning our robust descriptions to talk like secular psychologists.
In my doctoral program I was required to read a book written by Donald Capps describing spiritual caregivers as "agents of hope." May it be so.
May God give us the courage and the grace to represent Him well and to be on His behalf an agent of hope unto others by daring to use Christian terms to frame ethical and emotional issues, and by investing those terms with heartfelt belief.
Footnote: quotations from Joseph Conrad's preface to the Niger of the Narcissus, Project Gutenberg
