Starting Over: With God All Things are Possible

How often we wish we could get a fresh start in life. We recognize that we've made some mistakes, and the past weighs heavily on our mind. We wish we could take back some cruel words, spend more time with someone, or be more forgiving this time.

I understand, and I also know what you need.

Listen to the beautiful words from Cardinal Fenelon, the French mystic:

Do not be discouraged at your faults; bear with yourself in correcting them, as you would with your neighbor. Lay aside this ardor of mind, which exhausts your body, and leads you to commit errors. Accustom yourself gradually to carry prayer into all your daily occupations. Speak, move, work, in peace, as if you were in prayer, as indeed you ought to be.

Do everything without excitement, by the spirit of grace. As soon as you perceive your natural impetuosity gliding in, retire quietly within, where is the kingdom of God. Listen to the leadings of grace, then say and do nothing but what the Holy Spirit shall put in your heart.

You will find that you will become more tranquil, that your words will be fewer and more effectual, and that, with less effort, you will accomplish more good.

FRANCOIS DE LA MOTHE FENELON.

These words were written 300 years ago. They are just as true today as the day they were written. He's obviously found something, and I know what it is. I would like to share the secret with you, but it is only for the sincere in heart.

To start again, you need two things: a way of living and moving and having your being that is calm and not willful. And more importantly a way of speaking and acting gracefully with wisdom and common sense. One where reason leads instead of emotion. One where intuition is your guide rather than pressures from the outside. One where you are a friend of God and comfortable with your conscience.

Perhaps now you see what else is needed: a way of dealing with the traumas, baggage, and memories of the past. And mostly those memories are of failure. Where we were hasty, impetuous, angry, excited, greedy, prideful or selfish. We moved without wisdom and were tempted away from reason. We became resentful and said or did the wrong thing. We doubted God and good. We became animated at the thought of personal gain, and we moved excitedly and blindly.

You cannot change the past. All you can do is live rightly from now on. The secret lies in a sincere willingness to know the truth and a willingness to admit wrong. This willingness leads to a wonderful thing: a softening of our heart and there being an opening for God's inner light to begin to shine in our life.

When we are willing to know the truth, we begin to see our own wrong--especially resentments and hatreds toward others. But this time, instead of fighting conscience, we permit it to overwhelm us and chasten us.

Our pride is dashed, we regret and mourn our wrong in the Light of Intuition.

This wordless inner light has always been there. We kind of knew we were being selfish or resentful, but we made something (like our pride) too important.

So we fought conscience and tried to deny it. We redoubled our efforts to make ourselves look good, smart, or right in the eyes of the world--as if to disprove God's inner light wrong. But all we did was heap more condemnation on our head.

Our next big mistake was trying to deal with the memories of our errors egotistically. We suppressed and repressed. We tried to rearrange the past, or we tried to plan and scheme our way out of the messes we made. All to save face.

For the sincere seeker, who really and truly wants to be a better person--not just to save face or to feel better--but to come clean before conscience and admit some things, there is no better way that to use the meditation we offer to learn how to be still before the inner light.

By not escaping into worries, daydreams, memories or thinking; and by not reaching for some outside distraction--the soul becomes still and faces Reality. And only the soul that is truly willing to admit wrong will be able to do so.

The beautiful part about this is that the Light from God will wordlessly make the soul aware that it can do nothing. It cannot make itself good. It cannot deal with guilt or make itself innocent. The soul, chastened and helpless, turns inwardly to God. It lets go of its struggle and "lets go and lets God.

Now the soul can live in the Presence in the present. And as memories of past failings rise (a few every day--only as much as the soul can bear), it does not try to deal with them in any way. It is the Light from God that does the work or repentance. One day, there are no more errors of the past to see--only a beautiful present to live in.

And now graced with the delicate presence of the inner Light in which the soul now moves, this light becomes a lamp unto thy feet, gently and wordlessly guiding you away from error and in the right path.

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